Child Abuse, Neglect and Domestic Violence

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It is becoming clear in medical and psychological research that when a child is treated with aggression and violence, actual changes occur in the developing brain. The hippocampus, part of the brain that helps with emotional regulation, gets damaged by too much stress. The chronic stress that abused and neglected children live with affects the brain's ability to regulate fear and anger and becomes 'wired' to react strongly to everything as if it were a threat. The ability to trust others is greatly damaged. Children under this kind of stress are at far greater risk for anxiety, depression, addiction, anger problems, health problems and relationship problems for the rest of their lives if left unchecked.

As with all of these issues, the Lab is committed to prevention. For those coming to terms with past abuse, the damage to our lives that occurred in childhood is something we will deal with for life. Extra skills must be learned and emotional intelligence strengthened in order to deal with the reality of a central nervous system that is more susceptible to anxiety, depression and addiction.  

The goal is to learn how to effectively deal with the results of our negative experiences and enable ourselves to live happy, calm,  productive lives that include healthy trusting relationships. Abuse survivors of all kinds must learn additional skills to stay in balance.

We can't turn back the clock and ask our young, angry and overwhelmed parents to get help. But we can repair ourselves and in so doing stop the cycles of abuse that are passed from generation to  generation and prevent future suffering. Abusive behavior is learned behavior. Carl Jung said that "torturers are not born, they are made." Many believe that children who are beaten and abused and neglected are more likely to become abusive later in life - but that is not a guarantee. 

Those who process it and come to terms can end up being more effective and loving parents and partners in their own right. 

More information:

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/focus-areas/child-abuse-neglect

http://child-abuse.com/

http://www.medicinenet.com/child_abuse_facts/page5.htm#is_it_possible_to_prevent_child_abuse

Stop sexual abuse:

http://www.stopitnow.org/sites/default/files/documents/files/prevent_child_sexual_abuse.pdf

Stop emotional abuse:

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/emotional-abuse/

Stop Neglect:

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/neglect/chaptertwo.cfm

http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2007/04/verbal-beatings-hurt-as-much-as-sexual-abuse/ 

https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/

http://nic.unlv.edu/pcan/files/recognizing_abuse.pdf

https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse-statistics/

http://www.medicinenet.com/child_abuse_facts/article.htm

Warning signs of emotional abuse in children:

Withdrawn, fearful, or anxious about doing something wrong
Shows extremes in behavior (extremely compliant or extremely demanding; extremely passive or extremely aggressive)
Doesn’t seem to be attached to the parent or caregiver
Acting inappropriately adult (taking care of other children) or inappropriately childish (rocking, thumb-sucking, tantrums)

Warning signs of physical abuse in children

Frequent injuries or unexplained bruises, welts, or cuts
Always watchful as if waiting for something bad to happen
Moves away from touch, flinches at sudden movements, or seems afraid to go home
Wears inappropriate clothing to cover up injuries, such as long-sleeved shirts on hot days

Warning signs of neglect in children

Clothes are ill-fitting, filthy, or inappropriate for the weather
Hygiene is consistently bad (unbathed, matted and unwashed hair, noticeable body odor).
Untreated illnesses and other injuries
Frequently unsupervised or left alone or allowed to play in unsafe situations and environments
Frequently late or absent from school

Warning signs of sexual abuse in children

Difficulty walking or sitting
Displays knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age

Seductive behavior
Makes strong efforts to avoid a specific person, without an obvious reason
Doesn’t want to change clothes in front of others or participate in physical activities
An STD or pregnancy, especially under the age of 14
Runs away 

What is child abuse?

In the United States before 2017, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention defined child abuse as: any act or series of acts of omission or commission committed by a parent or caregiver that directly results in  harm or a threat of harm to the child in question. Neglect, as defined  by the U.S. government before 2017, is described as any delinquent act with regard  to the well-being and welfare of the child — these actions can include disregard, rejection or abandonment. It includes verbal abuse as well which has been shown in a Harvard study to be as damaging as other forms of abuse.

Additions to the traditional definition:

Verbal abuse 

from the Harvard study:

"...  researchers have associated childhood verbal abuse with a significantly  higher risk of developing unstable, angry personalities, narcissistic  behavior, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and paranoia. “Verbal abuse may also have more lasting consequences than other forms of abuse, because it’s often more continuous,” says Teicher. “And in combination  with physical abuse and neglect [it] may produce the most dire outcome. However, child protective service agencies, doctors, and lawyers are most concerned about the impact and prevention of physical or sexual  abuse.”

Sibling Abuse

Sibling Abuse is more common than most people know and has received little attention as it borders on behaviors that are usually considered  "normal."  But those who have experienced even mild physical, psychological and/or sexual abuse from a sibling know that the effects are just as bad or worse than if a stranger or peer treated us the same way. The effects may be worse because a family member is someone we are supposed to be able to trust not to hurt us. Children can develop long-term psychological challenges (anxiety and depression) from on-going physical violence, emotional or verbal aggression and even property aggression such as having personal belongs destroyed. Much more  research and development is needed on this topic to determine the clear distinction between normal sibling rivalry behaviors and violent behaviors that cross a line into abusiveness. We should all be able to agree that some initial criteria are obvious: "sibling rivalry" should not involve frequent blood-shed, for example.

Research:

“As the UNH data reveals, bullying is bullying no matter the relationship of the children nor the location of the abuse.”

"...a group of researchers at the University of New Hampshire’s (UNH) Crimes against Children Research Center  have revealed sibling aggression to be a possible source of long-term  mental health harm similar to the effects of peer bullying.

Corinna Jenkins Tucker, Associate Professor of Family Studies at UNH and one of the researchers, stated, "Our study shows that sibling aggression is not benign for children and adolescents, regardless of how severe or frequent."

From the study completed at the University of New Hampshire in 2013

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2013-06/uonh-sao061213.php

An important implication of this research, is that parents and caregivers  should take sibling aggression seriously. "If siblings hit each other,  there's a much different reaction than if that happened between peers,"  she says. "It's often dismissed, seen as something that's normal or  harmless. Some parents even think it's beneficial, as good training for dealing with conflict and aggression in other relationships." This research indicates that sibling aggression is related to the same serious mental health effects as peer bullying. (emphasis added)

The  authors suggest that pediatricians take a role in disseminating this  information to parents at office visits, and that parent education  programs include a greater emphasis on sibling aggression and approaches  to mediate sibling conflicts.”

Research:
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/06/12/peds.2012-3801

Children and violence in the culture:
http://www.unh.edu/ccrc/projects/natscev.html